I don't know exactly when I first became aware that some people were gay, probably around the age of puberty. By Grade 9 I certainly knew. The two girls who shared a locker next to mine were Leslie and Maureen. They were a little more advanced than I was at the time. Their locker had a sign inside the door: "Les and Mo". They joked "Lesbifriends and go homo." But they weren't gay. It was a joke.  In retrospect it seems quite innocent, certainly not the type of gay bashing that I would witness once at university.

In 1973 Black Power and Women's Liberation were part of political and social consciousness. Birth control was barely legal and prescribed. Toronto's Bay and Wellesley was home to the groundbreaking Bay Centre for Birth Control run by Dr. Marion Powell. Some of the sexual revolution was beginning to take place nearby. (For those who don't know the area it is between Yonge St. and the University of Toronto.) Homosexuality was considered by psychologists to be a deviant sexual behaviour.  

Some of the boys in my residence thought it would be fun to go to Yonge St. on Halloween to see the transvestites, in full Carmen Miranda mode, flounce into their bar, the St. Charles Tavern. It was their spectacle on their night. In those days gays were regularly being arrested at bath houses and being charged with acts of indecency in Toronto. On Halloween anyone could dress up however he or she pleased. A crowd gathered and many cheered at the appearance of each diva. There were quite a few others who had come armed for action. Dozens of eggs and tomatoes were thrown at the "queers". You had to be tough to be gay in those days. But I don't remember seeing anyone dressed in full leather regalia.

University of Toronto had a Thursday night Homo Hop. It wasn't my crowd and I don't know anything more than it existed, much like my knowledge of the Young Socialists, or the Trotskyites. There were a few people on campus I considered might be gay but that sort of thing wasn't openly discussed. It wasn't my business. Only many years later did I meet one friend "R" who asked me to dinner, he had something important he wanted to tell me. As a 26 year old he was announcing to some of his friends and his family that he was "coming out" of the closet. At the event I met his boyfriend and some of his "other" circle of friends. It was more than a bit uncomfortable.

A groundbreaking French film La Cage Aux Folles was released in 1978. It played just off St. Charles St. My buddy T asked me if I'd join him to see the film. He brought along a beautiful girl A and the three of us enjoyed dinner and a film. The film was hilarious. Last year, after 25 years of marriage T & A (I `m not making this up. I could, but I'm not.) told the story. A was thrilled to meet a great looking Italian man who dressed well, was educated, and was so cultured and considerate. She felt they looked great together, la bella figura. This could be it, Mamma Mia! (She said that, not me.) Maybe she had found the man she would marry. Then on their third date T brings along a male friend and takes her to a "gay" film. It was devastating. She thought T had revealed his true sexuality. T was just being a guy, not planning ahead, he thought he'd like his new girl to meet a good friend. The choice of film was completely coincidental.

Well St. Charles is the patron saint of healing and there's been great advancement in society. Although we're not quite where we might be in terms of tolerance, respect, and upholding human rights we're getting there.

Today's Toronto Star an article by Simona Siad: Celebrating her own way
Felicia Morrison is organizing her own West Indian style Pride event after coming out to family and friends.Solstice Pride

"The event is a celebration of confidence as well as sexuality. It's something that's really important to me as I've just come out and it was really hard for me to be confident with my own sexuality," Morrison says. "Once you come out, it's not just you, it's you and the rest of society and how they judge you."
She says coming out in the Jamaican community a year and a half ago was "scary as hell" and recalls being frightened to tell her mother and crying the whole time as she spoke.
"When you're West Indian, it's just taboo to begin with. It's something you just don't bring up, even if you are," she says. "It's something that's just not discussed, it's swept under the rug."
And although her mother was supportive and said she wouldn't pass judgment, she told Morrison that she shouldn't tell everyone that she's gay.

"R" served Harvey Wallbangers at his coming out party and I'm raising this one for him, Felicia and the others for PrideWeek 2007.

And here's  a special toast to our own CanadianBill.

There's beer over in the fridge for those not so comfortable with issues of sexuality and sexual identity.

Cheers!